- shower. not a bath, a shower. use water as hot or cold as u like. u dont even need to wash. just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. sit on the floor if you gotta.
- moisturize everything. use whatever lotion u like. unscented? dollar store lotion? fancy ass 48 hour lotion that makes u smell like a field of wildflowers? use whatever you want, and use it all over.
- put on clean, comfortable clothes.
- put on ur favorite underwear. cute black lacy panties? those ridiculous boxers u bought last christmas with candy cane hearts on the butt? put em on.
- drink cold water. use ice. if u want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost.
- clean something. doesn’t have to be anything big. organize one drawer of ur desk. wash five dirty dishes. do a load of laundry. scrub the bathroom sink.
- blast music. listen to something upbeat and dancey and loud, something that’s got lots of energy. sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both.
- make food. don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. take the time and make food. even if it’s ramen. add something special to it, like a hard boiled egg or some veggies. prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something.
- make something. write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. even if you don’t think you’re good at it.
- go outside. take a walk. sit in the grass. look at the clouds. smell flowers. put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin.
- call someone. call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. talk to a stranger on the street. have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. if you can’t, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. even if you don’t say much, listen to them.
- cuddle your pets if you have them/can cuddle them. take pictures of them. talk to them. tell them how u feel, about your favorite movie, a new game coming out.
Circulating. Seasonal depression is creeping around now.
Lets keep this moving
- The “getting it done in an unconventional way” method.
- The “it’s not cheating to do it the easy way” method.
- The “fuck what you’re supposed to do” method.
- The “get stuff done while you wait” method.
- The “you don’t have to do everything at once” method.
- The “it doesn’t have to be permanent to be helpful” method.
- The “break the task into smaller steps” method.
- The “treat yourself like a pet” method.
- The “it doesn’t have to be all or nothing” method.
- The “put on a persona” method.
- The “act like you’re filming a tutorial” method.
- The “you don’t have to do it perfectly” method.
- The “wait for a trigger” method.
- The “do it for your future self” method.
- The “might as well” method.
- The “when self discipline doesn’t cut it” method.
- The “taking care of yourself to take care of your pet” method.
- The “make it easy” method.
- The “junebugging” method.
- The “just show up” method.
- The “accept when you need help” method.
- The “make it into a game” method.
- The “everything worth doing is worth doing poorly” method.
- The “trick yourself” method.
- The “break it into even smaller steps” method.
- The “let go of should” method.
- The “your body is an animal you have to take care of” method.
- The “fork theory” method.
- The “effectivity over aesthetics” method.
Whatever hell your parents forced you to adapt to, you can unlearn.
It's hard. It takes ages. There's a lot of healing and introspection involved. You will make mistakes often, and there will be setbacks.
But it is possible.
You can learn to practice self care. You can learn to interact with your loved ones as an equal. You can learn not to bow to every order given. You can learn to put your needs first.
The skills aren't innate. It won't be as easy to learn new behaviors and social languages as it was when you were a child.
But the brain is capable of forming new pathways. You are capable of change. This is part of healing.
Grand Canyon, Arizona | Photographer: Yves Lavignasse
“When your head hits the pillow tonight, remind yourself that you’ve done a good job. Be patient with yourself, and remember that big things are achieved not all at once, but one day at a time.”
— Nicole Addison
my dad likes to call the stretches of time where you’re not creating “dreaming periods” and says that they’re meant to allow you to absorb all of the beauty, life, and inspiration from the things around you so that when you’re able to create again, you will have fanned your spark back into a flame. sometimes its hard to see those moments as anything but stagnation, but he always says that they’re natural and healthy and needed—things that should be embraced rather than feared.
















